I am a tired mother. I think its just implied if you are a mother, you go through most days with some degree of tiredness or just plain lack of energy. But I thought I was doing OK lately, not feeling as tired and somewhat refreshed in the mornings. But I learned recently I was so, so wrong. I am still Brain-Dead-Mommy tired. Just when I thought I was climbing out of the dark cave of sleep deprived mania, I was wrong.
I never thought the simplest task of just putting on deoderant would reveal such a truth. First of all, I am always impressed when I can even remember to put on deoderant. To others, I probably smell like a fresh bouquet of spring onions. But I don't have time to smell myself or I am too busy smelling poop and pee all day to even notice.
So when I finally had the energy to remember to put on deodorant, the bottle was empty. God only knows how long the bottle had been empty or when I even bought it. The label was in English so I'm guessing I brought it on my last trip to the States last summer. OK, now I am a little embarrassed.
Anyway, off to the supermarket I went and hit the jackpot: 3 for 2 deoderant deal. A year's supply (as long as I don't go wild and wear it everyday)!
A miracle occurred: the very next day after my shower, I remembered to put on my newly purchased deodorant. I grabbed the big pink bottle and I sprayed proudly away.
What a surprise! As soon as it hit my skin, it started to fill my armpit with a creamy foam. Not to mention drip all over the bedroom floor forming white blobby mounds. It wasnt deodorant, it was ladys shaving cream. Wow, my armpits were in shock! I barely have time to swipe the razor over them much less use shaving cream!
I read the bottle...sure enough, it was shaving cream. I bought 3 cans of shaving cream! I just stood there in tears, brain dead. Typical, I thought. That was what I got for trying to be a little human.
So, I had sticky arm pits and no deoderant. I looked at the shower, but I just couldn't do it. After all the excitement, I was too tired to get back into the shower and wash-off the shaving cream. I grabbed a diaper wippee and walked around the rest of the day with one baby-fresh pit and the other creamy onion.
In hindsight, the label Satin Care and Gel should have tipped me off. And what was I going to do with 3 bonus size bottles of ladies shaving cream? I am shamed into shaving for the next year....Ahhhh...I am tired just thinking about it!
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