One bad Mama

This is how the daycare walks the babies to the park, its a stroller for 4 kids.

I just realized today that I am one bad mama. No, not "bad" in the cool sense of the word, but bad in the not-so-great sense. I'm not at all the mother I thought I was gonna be when I sat on the couch every nite stroking the growing alien in my belly.

Way back in 2007BC (Before children) I thought I was gonna be one bad ass mama. I was gonna be this really cool chick who just happen to be a mama giving motherhood a new meaning. I was gonna have it all, especially holding on tight to "Me"". I was gonna walk the streets pushin my very expensive buggy and all the other mamas would whisper, "Wow how does she do it? She is the coolest mama in the hood!"

And then I gave birth...

And then instead of wearing clothes, I wear my yoga pants everyday.

Instead of having the perfectly styled hair, my scalp goes days without seeing a brush.

Instead of me strutting down the street proudly pushing my babies in the buggy, I am so insecure sometimes, I just stare ahead.

Instead of everyday being a celebration of life, I often spend the entire day fussing, disciplining and trying not to smile.

Instead of being the coolest, laid-back mama at the playground, I'm constantly worried if my daughter is gonna fall off the slide head first.

Instead of enjoying every precious minute with my babies, I'm prayin for bedtime to come quickly.

Instead of keeping the romance alive with Baby Daddy, I'm watching the back of my eyelids by 10pm every night.

Instead of a glass of wine in my hand at the end of the day, I have a poop diaper in one and a snotty tissue ball in the other.

Instead of being a Bad Ass Mama, I am a real Mama...insecure, tired, disheveled, yelling but HAPPY!