Mama's little stalker waiting for his love to come out and play |
"Mama, I love her so very much," my son confesses yesterday while sitting outside in our community garden.
"Mama, where do you think she is? I want to play with her. We used to go to daycare together. She is my best friend."
"Mama, do you think she is sleeping now? Do you think she ate her dinner already? What do you think she ate for dinner? She can't drink cow's milk you know."
"Mama, which friend do you think she is playing with right now? Can you call her?"
And did I mention my son is 4 years-old? No, not 14 because I thought I had until he was at least 14 to deal with this subject. Nope, he is head-over-heels in love with the girl-next-door and he has just started pre-school.
And its not cute puppy love, its full blown stalking, obsessing, emotional madness you would expect from a hormone controlled teenager. I'm not exaggerating: he would only go to sleep last night after I threatened that he couldn't see her today unless he slept. Not to mention, earlier in the day, he had stationed himself on the sidewalk across the street from her house waiting for her to come out and once she did, he followed her around the neighborhood (on his little orange bike with training wheels).
Of course, she ignored him the entire time, until all of her other friends left and then she came over to see my little man. This was after he cried for at least 30 minutes, broken-hearted from being rejected twice by her when he asked her to come play. She said she would rather play with the older girls in the 'hood. He was totally devastated and there was nothing I could say or do to comfort him. I held him tightly and tried to explain to him the realities of love in only a way a 4 year-old could understand...cars and robots.
I said that boys were like cars and girls were like robots, and robots liked to play with other robots, like the Transformers. I know grasping at straws, but I had to say something, my baby's heart was shattered into a million pieces and I was helpless.
Then he says, "Well Mama, cars and robots play together on the Transformers." GULP. Yes, he was right. He often watched the '80's cartoon with Baby Daddy, so he was the expert. And he started wailing again. I had made it worse. Thanks to me he could feel even more rejected!
I froze. I was speechless. I just sat there and held him, rocking back and forth. It was all I could do for my baby. I thought to myself, what kind of mother was I? I was shocked at my reaction or lack of...
He finally stopped crying and was distracted until after dinner. He then ran outside and sat on his stalker's post, waiting for just one more chance to speak to his love. Minutes later she appeared...seriously it was like a scene from a romance novel. She pulled up on her little pink bike, smiled and asked if she could have a piece of the boterham (sandwich) he was eating.
His face lit up and he handed her the entire sandwich. She sat next to him and he immediately began stroking her long blonde hair. He kept smelling her hair like it was some sort of drug. And he then suddenly turned into a little man. His voice was deeper and he had stars in his eyes. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. I could have been watching a scene in a pick-up club!
And just as I expected, she finished the sandwich, got back on her bike and rode off into the sunset, down the street to her own house.
I held my breath and waited for the tears to fall again. But this time, he was too intoxicated by her visit, he couldn't stop smiling.
"Mama, I really love her."
"I know baby and Mama loves you."
"But I love her. What was her name again?"
Errrrggg...and I thought my son would be different!
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