Nit check!

Nit check! I used to hate these two words growing up in school. The school nurse would take us out of the room, one-by-one and pick through our hair with giant wooden chop sticks checking for little white/yellowish eggs. You could see the horror on  my classmate's faces when the teacher announced a nit check. And it was because we all knew...if you go out and don't come back in...you have the LICE and for the days following, you would be condemned to playing all by yourself on the playground!

I remember each time the nurse would pick through my hair section-by-section, I would hold my breath praying to God she wouldn't find anything that resembled an egg. I was not only terrified of being the class pariah , but mostly of having tiny little bugs crawl through my scalp. Just the thought of it would make me itch! And itch and itch. One time when I was a bit older,  I even used the lice shampoo, just in case. I know, i'm a freak!

So you can imagine my horror when yesterday on the door to my kids daycare classroom, there was the dreaded sign: Lice outbreak in the class!

What! These kids barely have hair, what would a bunch of lice want on an almost bald head? My head immediately began to itch. I couldn't even get through the letter without both my hands frantically scratching the back of my head. I could see other parents beginning to stare at me, probably thinking "Ahhh, there is the source!"

So, I first made a bee-line for my baby girl..behind the ears, check no nits...on the roots underneath...check no nits. Ok, one almost bald child down, one with enough-hair-for-two-people to go.

It reminded me a lot of a showdown in a western...we faced each other...we looked...he wanted to run towards me and give me a gigantic hug...I didn't want him to touch me until I nit checked. Oh God, I thought, I would have to shave off all his pretty thick  hair...tears in my eyes. And I charged first, grabbed him by the shoulders and plundered through his hair like it was a Wal-mart blue light special. Wheewww...no nits! For once I was happy that my son is a little Pig Pen and only washed his hair once this week! Not a good nest for a nit! So, we were safe...for now...

But I was in bed all night digging my scalp, scratching and even woke up from a dream that I had nits. I must have been scratching in my sleep as well because brushing my hair was very painful this morning. My god how am I gonna survive the elementary school years? I guess a mother's gotta do what a mother's gotta do...but I would rather change a million oozing stomach virus induced diarrhea diapers than have to pick nits from my kids hair!