Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wrinkle free...

I just have to say it and get it over with, and face the fact I am losing it. I was so tired today that after taking a shower I smeared my super-duper face wrinkle reducer creme all over my body. Yes, instead of picking up the bottle of body lotion, I just kept on smearing, all over, from my face to my toes. Q10 was in places that I am sure it was never tested. I just kept on rubbing until my entire body was saturated.

But, this was not the bad part. The bad part was that I did not realize it until I was sitting in the sun later in the afternoon and my entire body began to sizzle. No, not sunburn, sizzle. I felt like a fried steak in the frying pan. Of course the creme has sunscreen but maybe its not suppose to work work on certain body parts. My feet looked like cherry tomatoes and my newly shaved legs (which doesn't happen often) were covered with red stripes.

At first, I thought maybe my body was in shock from even being exposed to sunlight since we don't get much of it here. Yet, somewhere in the back of my cob-webbed mind the little hamster that runs the wheel in my brain began to playback my morning ritual. Yes, I did it, I used wrinkle reducer on every nook and cranny.

Thankfully, once I got out of the sun, the redness disappeared and my skin appeared to survive the trauma. But maybe it's an idea to put a warning label on products from now on: Caution sleep deprived mothers, use at own risk!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Big one like Papa...

It all started last week when Luca said he had pain in his pee-pee. Not knowing I was about to get the shock of a lifetime, I asked him to show me. Well what happened next was not what I expected, lets just say it was inflated.  My baby boy, my baby, baby boy...I just didn't expect this kinda thing at least for another 12 years. I just said "if you forget about it, then it will go away" and he moved onto a new subject. Wheww, thank god.

Then my worst penis conversation nightmare came true today. While getting he was getting dressed Luca said "Mama, I want a big one like papa." So I said "Luca, dont worry, papa's isn't that big"...just kidding, of course I didnt, but WHAT was I suppose to say. Im not suppose to be having these conversations, thats daddy's job. I dont want to know these things. I began to freak out a bit and blood rushed to my cheeks. I dont want to have penis talk with my three year old. Am I suppose to say size doesnt matter honey...or just wait one day you will have a very big one. I don't know, I don't have one. How am I suppose to know.

So I said the first thing that came out. I said "Luca if you eat your vegetables you will grow big like papa." Luca began to twist his face in disgust and then I guess he thought about it a minute when he agreed, "ok mama." Luca detests veggies, he would rather go hungry and weak than to eat them. Men!