Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Relax Mama, relax...

Phone booths still exist? and in the middle of forest?
For my birthday, Baby Daddy treated me to 80 minutes of relaxation with a facial and neck/shoulder massage. Ahhhh, an hour and half lying in a dark, quiet room with no children around. No screaming. No fighting. Nothing to do but get lost in peacefulness!

I climbed up on the massage table and surrendered all my stress to do nothing but relax. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and surrendered my thoughts to the process of relaxing :
  • If I had known I was gonna take my shirt off I would've worn a clean bra
  • Wow my boobs have gotten saggy, the Miracle bra ain't what it used to be
  • Wonder if she will notice my fat rolls, God Dutch women are skinny
  • Can't wait to relax, no kids...ahhhh
  • I cant believe I forgot to eat, I was too eager to taste my freedom.
  • Jez, I feel a storm brewing in my belly. Diarrhea? Gas? Yep, gas..
  • Gas...I forgot to fill the car up before we left, gonna pay twice as much for gas.
  • Ok, I am ready for my massage, please massage me! Touch me! Touch me!
  • Ahhh there she goes...deeper girlfriend, mama is stressed
  • Worked sucked this week but at least it was a break.
  • God what a rough nite with the kids. I am so tired.
  • I shouldn't have had that one beer. One beer!
  • My God i'm hungover.
  • Why dont my kids sleep?
  • I really have to let one fly, hope it doesn't make a sound.
  • There it went, silent but hopefully not violent.
  • Please don't let it smell, please don't let it smell...
  • I'm so tired of cleaning poop out of the bathtub.
  • Why do my kids poop so much?
  • Wowww that feels so good, ahhhhhhhh harder, harder!
  • Time for a new bra, gotta order a new bra. No, new boobs, gotta get me some new boobs.
  • Can someone shut that baby up in the hallway im relaxing in here!
  • Someone please feed the baby.
  • I am so hungry I could eat these cucumber slices off my eyelids.
  • Hope the kids are having fun.
  • Hope baby daddy is having fun.
  • Awww the kids are so sweet, I love them so much.
  • This would make a great blog post. Gotta remember, gotta remember...
  • I forgot to send an email
  • I forgot to hang out the last load of laundry.
  • What is this stuff she just put on my face, tingles
  • Didn't know she was gonna pluck the eyebrows. Holy shizzle sticks!!!
  • Keep going girl, I know I have more than 4 hairs in that uni-brow.
  • Ouch, that hurt, hello, i'm awake now.
  • It was raining when I woke up today.
  • I'm sick of the rain, please don't rain on my birthday.
  • Did I bring the kids rain boots?
  • I need to buy Luca new rain boots.
  • Hope I don't develop anymore skin cancer on my face.
  • Forgot to buy the sunscreen dermo recpmmended
  • Charly has an appointment with doctor this week.
  • This is my last day being 38
  • Where did my 30's go?
  • I'm gonna have a blowout party next year.
  • No I won't, too much work!
  • Yes I will, I deserve it!
  • Ahhhh this feels so good.
  • 40!!! i'm gonna be 40
  • Over the hill, over the hill!
  • Kids will need a nap.
  • Gotta let some more wind out...who cares if it smells, I feel good!
  • I should relax more often, this is amazing!
Facial girl: "Mevrouw, you can sit up now. Did you enjoy?"
Me: "You have no idea..."


  1. That is always my greatest fear during any message... passing gas... and it being very loud.

    1. Ha, Ha! I bet the spa staff are immune to the smell of gas! I guess thats why they turn the relaxing music up so loud! I usually don't have the problem but I had a Guinness the night before, lesson learned!


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