Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Quirky world of the Redneck

The meaning of home is different for everyone. My definition of home is where I grew up, where I can still run around barefoot and go dirt bogging down remote country roads. It just so happens my home is tucked under the tight grip of the Bible belt in the good ole USA, where you drink your tea sweet and iced. It's actually a magical place and every year I look forward to experiencing its wonders and rediscovering my redneck roots!

Southern generosity
We southerners are known for our generosity, not only towards strangers but also towards those who live in our own neighborhoods.  Here is a perfect example. The first photo was taken from my parents front porch looking out over the front yard. You might be asking yourself, is that someone sitting across the street? 
Your eyes do not deceive you, yes, as you see in the zoom in, it is a person! This is a young man who lives down the street who has pulled up a chair across the road. And what is he doing? Well, that's where the generosity part comes in. He is using my parents WiFi!  Yep, my parents have one unprotected line and the boy-next-door has figured this out. So whenever he needs to surf the net he just brings along a chair and trust me, he can sit there for hours. It doesn't seem to bother my parents, they just wave to him.

What church you go to, Sugar?
Living in the South, you might get asked this question a million times and depending on how you answer you will either get a "oh my cousin Rodney's first cousin's brother-in-law's sister's babysitter goes to that church" or "well you should try out my church next Sunday." And if you are like me and don't go to church, well to be honest I just make up a church. Trust me, it's one time when the truth will not set you free!

The funny thing about the churches in the South are you never know where you might find one. Of course, there are the conventional churches like this old country church in my hood. This where you would just walk in, read a few bible verses, listen to how crispy you are gonna burn in Hell and to wrap it all up, sing a hymn or two about sinning and forgiveness. Then in exactly one hour later, you regain your freedom as the doors open to the real world and you are home just in time for Sunday dinner (or lunch as the rest of the world calls it).

Then you have churches that can pop up anywhere like this one to the right. I was shocked when I drove by this one because as you can probably see from the design, it used to be a dance club. I used to burn up the floors dancing in this club and if the walls could talk, i'm telling you the holy water in this newly anointed church would boil! But to Southernsers, doesn't matter where you worship as long as you show your face every Sunday.

When are you gonna get indoor plumbing?

Ok, not all Southerners have an outhouse, but I sure did get a kick out of teasing my son we were gonna get one in Amsterdam. This was in back of an old farm house up in the Great Smokey Mountains in North Carolina. I swear it's one of the most beautiful places on Earth, still quite untouched. My family has been camping up there for almost 30 years, its amazing!

 Calling all Full Blooded!

Even I was in disbelief when I saw this sign when we drove through Cherokee, North Carolina. I had to think a minute, a dance by a full blooded what? Bear? Then it hit me! NOOOOO a full blooded Cherokee Indian. Obviously there were some complaints that some of the dancers were not full blooded. Guess you have to give DNA samples with your job application...I'm not full blooded but I do have Cherokee ancestors, guess I would have to be a back-up dancer.

Gold in them there mountains!

No, not from the mines but from the rainbows. As you can see, rainbows climb sideways up mountains in NC, I guess so the pot of gold at the end doesn't roll down the side of the hill.

Time stands still

 The thing I love best about the South is that time stands still. If you wanna get away from the hustle and bustle of life anywhere else in the world, just go down South. 


  1. I have to ask..Where is the second church? Which nightclub was it? I love reading your blog!

  2. Hey Sam! It was that huge dance club just outside of Kroger parking lot in Ocean Drive. I think I even went to a White Snake concert there. Maybe you were too young...you know I was 21 at least 10 years before you!


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