Friday, June 13, 2014

Finding my uniqueness

You never know who will cross your path and actually, I think that is one of the most exciting things about life.

And I am so thankful that so far in my 40 years, I have crossed paths with so many people who have enriched my life in so many ways, and that includes someone who crossed my path recently at our storytelling event last month.

That was when I met Amber, she was one of the six brave ones to sign up as a storyteller. And what a fascinating story she told, I will never, ever forget her story.

But that was just the beginning because after the event I got to a talkin' to Amber, who is a life coach, and she invited me to a workshop she was giving the following week. The workshop was called "Finding Your Uniqueness" to help build your confidence and change your behavior. And I need a lot of both, so I signed up!

The next week I attended Amber's workshop and to be honest I had no expectations. I was open for anything, ready to learn. Especially since I began to realize that my behavior strongly effects the way my daughter sees herself.

This realization scared the H-E-L-L out of me. Of course, I am more confident now than ever, but I was still a long way from where I thought I needed to be. And not to mention, I was struggling with ways to help my daughter build and maintain her confidence. She is a tough cookie now, but I know there are things out there in the world that can make even the toughest cookies crumble.

So I walked into this workshop with four complete strangers and walked out connected to four very special people and feeling confident about myself. I can not put into words how it happened but we were guided safely through very simple behavior changes leaning heavily on our intuition to guide us. Amber created such a safe environment for us and calmed our fears. Because depending on only your intuition can be a very scary thing. I can tell you, it was hard at first, but now I have enough confidence in myself to trust it. I was right every time that I used it in group exercise lead by Amber.

But that wasn't all, I learned one of my hardest lessons in life, one that will benefit my daughter greatly: I learned how to take a compliment. You see, where I come from (and I actually heard in a lot of cultures around the world), women are quick to demean themselves when they are complimented. For example, if someone tells me I am a good mother, instead of saying "Thanks" I say "No way, I make a lot of mistakes."

To be honest, I felt very uncomfortable when people gave me a compliment. It meant I had to think fast to try to find someway to put myself back down again. Crazy, isn't it?

Through a simple group exercise,  I learned how to accept the unique qualities about myself.  I allowed myself to own them. I was proud of myself. And if I am proud of myself, my daughter will learn how to be proud of herself. And when I receive a compliment now, I can simply say "Thank-you" and feel good that someone else has recognized something unique about me.

Better yet, I learned how to trust my intuition and recognize all the positive qualities in my daughter and help her see them in herself. This is a gift I can give to her everyday and hope that she can use later when she soars from underneath my protective wing.

I guess you could say I found more than my uniqueness, I found a way to accept it and to own it. And to tell that self-depreciating-annoying-little-voice to go away, and let me shine! Most importantly let my daughter see me shine, so she can embrace her uniqueness too!

For more information on the Finding Your Uniqueness  workshop, you can contact Amber at or on Facebook at


  1. Goodness where are you. I lost my first long message to you somewhere in cyberspace. Hence the test. I had a problem with that funny word and publish thing. Miss your writings. Please start up soon.
    Erna, somewhere in the Pacific Nortwest


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