How IKEA keeps me from jumping off a bridge

If you don't have a car, just rent a bakfiets to get your stash home!

Of course I would never really jump but I have to confess, sometimes when I have had it, i'm going insane and I need a time-out, I take my daughter to IKEA. I drop her off at the "babysitter" Smaland, she gets a number stamped on her hand and faster than you can say Swedish meatballs, I am ass and elbows, halfway up the stairs to the cafeteria. No, not to shop, i'm just hanging out in Ikea to relax! And I get there in time for breakfast, so I can stock up on croissants and boiled eggs and tea for €1!

Once I have my stash, I find a quiet corner on one of their Ektorp couches, pig-out and read all the trashy mags I can (that they offer.) I really don't care because for the next hour, I have a FREE babysitter and breakfast for €1!! And I am ALONE!!

Of course, the hour goes quick and I always dart back to the daycare (with my eyes closed so I am not tempted through their commercial maze) to pick up my daughter before the IKEA police come get me.

Of course, she is the happiest girl in the world thanks to the jumping balls and I have found my sanity while smelling meatballs! We like each other again! Yay!

And if I really want to splurge, on the way out I buy the little snot nose a soft ice cream cone for 50 cents! You really can't beat that with a stick!

So see, you can buy your sanity, and like everything else cheap in the world, you can buy it from IKEA and just like everything else you buy at IKEA it doesn't last long!